Mama....The precious first Words

New Contest Free Beco Butterfly

2008-08-12T14:40:00.001-07:00

http://www.alongfortheride.biz/Win-a-Free-Beco-Butterfly-and-
-Beco-Toy-Carrier-s/49.htm

Check this site out they are doing a contest for butterfly's if you don't carry your baby this is your chance to do it for free!

Fustrations

2008-05-16T16:00:00.000-07:00

So I am having problems with the Home Daycare I run. One of the mother's isn't paying like she should. And is constantly late or making me feel guilty. I told her today that the boys couldn't be back unless she paid before monday. She says she is going to get it to me tomorrow. I don't know if that is going to happen or not. This is why I want a regular job I can count on the money. I am tired of parents not paying for my services, and making me feel like I am taking food out of their kids mouth when I ask for the money. I am applying at some schools for the fall. So we will see.

It's just getting to be to much.

babysitting co-op

2008-05-12T09:26:00.000-07:00

So I have started a babysitting co-op for people in the DFW area and the links in my sidebar. Anyone interested may apply. It allows you to exchange watching someones kids for someone watching yours.

A day in the life of a mama

2008-04-18T23:11:00.000-07:00

So this week was the last week for swim lessons. Bitty enjoyed them immensely and I am sure she will be disappointed that I didn't get her enrolled in the next class in time so they were full. :( On Tuesday she was so excited about going she rushed into the bathroom to potty before going swimming and either coming down or going up fell off the step stool and onto another step stool infront of the sink. This cause her front tooth to be knocked in and bleeding. I rushed her to the Er after several calls and after waiting three hours found out their machine was broke..SIGH. So Wednesday Dh took her to a pediatric dentist. They looked at her and said it looks good just keep a eye out for it dying, and sent us on our way! YAH! He lip was so swollen it looked like a cantalope but not it seems to have held quite nicely. Of course the moving of that one tooth has caused he speech to have more problems. SIGH The bank totally screwed us and now we have to go to a different bank. SIGH AGAIN. DH is prob going to start working a second job for a few months so that we can get some money saved. Life with the kids and daycare is going ok. Each day is a new challenge, but such is life sometimes. I hoping to have a good time on my birthday in a couple weeks keep your fingers crossed. Again our weekend is jammed packed. We saw "THe Mist" tonight and it was dang scary. The spiders are still making my skin crawl. That's about it for now

The Mama

Review of the Week - V-Smile Baby

2008-04-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

I tried this out with Little man and though he liked the keyboard part of it when it made noise. He doesn't like it at all when it is connected to the tv. As I feel this is the whole reason for the product I feel it was a complete waste of money. I will be returning this product immediately. The shapes don't light up to keep his attention and though my 3 yr old loves the noises it makes the baby doesn't keep entertained. I feel it should have lights and should still make the sounds when it runs through the tv to encourage the baby to press the buttons

The Mama give is 1 hand clap

Free Giveaway

2008-04-13T20:19:00.001-07:00

Check out the Free Giveways over at 5 Min moms

Update

2008-04-11T13:04:00.000-07:00

This week has been crazy long. I am so glad it's almost over. One of the kids moms paid late and has caused to be behind in my bills and have things bounce in the bank account. She did finally pay but like 4 days late. I told her never again UGH! It just makes me want to not do it anymore. The same mom got bronchitis last week and sent her kids with it I think and they coughed all over Doug who got it, and than gave it to me. I am just now geting over it. I will see how I feel tomorrow to see if I want to go to the DAM thing this weekend. I don't want to get anyone else sick, but on antibotics for 48 hours now so we will see. We had bad storms here this week and no siren that really irks me and I think they needed to find a way to make it happen just admit they didn't have anyone in the booth. Thank heavens DH woke up and we all crawled into the bath in time. This weekend is going to be a slow one as we have no real plans, I am glad cause we are always going somewhere. I want a weekend I can just sleep in.

Well got to go naps over

Hugs

The Mama

I know I am going to Jinx myself

2008-04-07T12:00:00.000-07:00

Bitty went in the potty all on her own this morning at it was poop! I am still in shock and after such a bad day. I danced and spun her around and every time she goes potty now she says "you are so proud and not sad" Please pray this is a good sign and she will keep it up! Seriously!

Blue Time Monday's

2008-04-07T07:18:00.000-07:00

It is already a Monday for sure and it just started. Poor Little Man got smacked in the face by a part of his new toy today and the little ones I watch don't want to morning nap. Bitty has already refused morning breakfast and my throat hurts. DH forgot the deposit this morning and now has to come back at lunch, wasting more gas. And we spent like 150 more this weekend than we should have and now I have to find a way to make it appear. My like is just hell sometimes. Please tell me the day will get better.

The Mama

The weekend

2008-04-06T20:39:00.000-07:00

So this weekend was a mix of ups and downs. It started out simply with DH's check being crap AGAIN. I swear each time he gets paid they take more out, it's frustrating because it is never the same amount. Than Saturday morning he went to get new brake pads and came back to work on the car. Once having the tire off he noticed that a bolt was missing on the caliber mounting plate and this cause the roater to be destroyed. UGH! So I fought firestone for a good hour, and finally they agreed to pay for the damage but it took them til 2 o'clock to get the car done. So we went and checked out this car dealership in Irving (suzuki) who does second chance financing or something. We qualified way high but they tried to lie to us and stick us with a junker. They were as 10,000 for a van that was 6 years old and had almost 100,000 miles on it (which he said had 75,000). On the way over he says "Oh we may have to jump it because I left the lights on?!" WTF? and than I start the thing and it clinky clacks all the way back tot he dealership. And guess what it has no F'In AC? What the hell did he take me for a idiot? I don't know but I am sure not going to by a lemon, especially when I can pay 2000 down and buy a new car. Idiots! I had to than run and finish grocery shopping that I didn't get done on Friday because DH can't seem to get little man to go to sleep at all. I hate when little man cries and cries so I rushed home and didn't finish shopping. We got him some new toys ( a thing made by brighter beginings that lights up and has balls....and a leapster baby thing.) I will write reviews on them in the near future. So this made us home late for when I had to be at the MNI, so I rush around grabbing all my stuff. I am already late and Doug hasn't really had a nap except in the car. Well I get lost and can't find the place and I feel like I will be stuck here forever. Some guy gives me the way and I finally find it after forever. I had fun, but felt flusterd because little man didn't want to sleep or feed or what not. He was just cranky. I think not having his tylenol with me didn't help. We got home a little before 11 and I think I screwed up his sleeping or something cause he was up AALLLLLLLLLL night. I was so exhausted in the morning that I skipped church. When they got home we had lunch and went to the zoo. I swear I see something new everytime we got there. We have annual pass so we take our time. This time we check out the children's side and Bitty rode the pony. Next time we will bring the kids suits and let them play in the water. We had a card game thing at church with our Adult Bible Study group so we rushed home. I cooked our thing we were bringing and than off we went. We just got home a bit ago and got the kids into bed. They were so exhausted from the long weekend.

Review of the Week - Leap Frog Clickstart

2008-04-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

This is a great product for anyone looking to have their children learn the beginning abilities of using a computer. We got this for Bitty at Christmas and with the skills she has leaned on it is now using a personal computer with ease. I great way to teach opposites, colors, numbers, letters, and beginning sounds. The mouse is easily controllable for little hands and the instructions are easy enough for any 3 year old or up to understand and follow. I recommended getting a game with it and rechargeable batteries, as it does run through batteries quite fast.

Here is the link

http://www.leapfrog.com/en/families/clickstart/cs_clickstart.html?utm_source=google&utm_medium=ppc&utm_term=leapster+click+start&utm_campaign=NonBrand&utm_content=ClickStart_Core%20Brand_Exact

The Mama give it 4 hand Claps!

The zoo

2008-03-31T13:09:00.000-07:00

Our trip to the zoo was so fun. We got family passes so we took our time and only did Africa. Here's pics

Make a scrapbook - it's easy!

easter scrapping

2008-03-31T13:00:00.003-07:00

Make a free ecard - it's easy!

A Huge Update

2008-03-22T20:48:00.001-07:00

I know it's been awhile since I posted here. I couldn't get my account to open. So Little man was born in October. He was 7 weeks early and was in ICU for 5 days. He had a battle with RSV a few months back but is ever growning and health. Bitty is growing like a weed and is our precious 3 year old. I finally got her to potty trained I am very excited about that. DH and I went out for our 5 year wedding anniversary tonight. It was great to have the intimate time together. I am keep a great bunch of kids right now and real pleased with how things are coming together. It's all through God's grace the things we have accomplished since we got together 5 years ago. V is turning into a bright young lady though some of her attitude is speaking of the tween years.

Talk to you more real soon...

Me

It's official

2007-03-06T09:28:00.001-08:00

I'm pregnant. I am deeply happy, but it is very exhausting and I feel like I am puking or feeling nauseous all the time. This baby only wants rabbit food which is just BLAH for me! I have tried to eat any kind of meat and I instantly feel sick. I barely got down fired potatoes last night. Six weeks along, and six more weeks of feeling this way.

Bitty had her CT yesterday TheBee brought her by afterwards and than I went home.

I just want to sleep and eat carrots. I must be a rabbit

The Mama

Life

2007-02-21T07:22:00.000-08:00

Well, bitty is sick again. This time no one seems to know whats wrong. With all the meds her ENT put her on they can't figure out why she would still be so sick? I got the run around yesterday between ENT and pediatrician because both are out of the office til Thursday. I just don't understand all this hoopla. Just figure out the problem and lets move on. I am really already! OH and the allergy doc she got recommended to doesn't have a opening til the middle of March! WOO HOO! NOT! I am so fed up with doctors it's unbelievable.

I wish you well,

The Mama

Detatching and new babies

2007-02-07T14:01:00.000-08:00

Well, I am desperate. The bits has decided that it is in her power to be on my hip at all times. She can walk fully, but knows that if you carry her into the kitchen she can reach higher things. She is totally attached to me wherever I go, and screamed for weeks about space. She would not anything but shredded cheese for weeks, which drove me nuts. She would scream through any store at anytime because she was bored or otherwise. Yes I am one of those moms who has a screaming kid in walmart, because of this we have taken her anywhere except the mall where she can play. It's totally crazy, and now we want to add a little baby to the mix. I am so scared that if we don't gain some detachment from her towards me before the baby she will resent him or her. I am at my wits end. Though since I was sick last week she has now wanted Daddy more, GREAT SIGN!

I have tired to choose my battles, tried putting in her room and letting her calm down, I have tired not giving in and letting her scream, and I still struggle with not yelling at her like my parents did.

OH! On the parent front. My dad and mom are seperating AGAIN! This time though my dad has disowned me and refuses to talk to me. When I tried to call him and talk about it, he had my mom call back and say to not call him that he would call me when he was ready? UH HELLO! Are you a child. I AM YOUR DAUGHTER DAMN IT!!! All this set in motion because of our visit to them before Christmas, and because after days of him treating like shit I blew up at him in a restaurant. Now he has to reevaluate or some stuff.

I am so mad!! Why can't I have loving parents who don't think of just themselves?

The Mama

Our weekend blunders

2007-02-05T09:18:00.000-08:00

So our electric bill in the new house is sky high. I call the landlord and tell her for the millionth time that the heat isn't working and now our bill is sky high. We spend 7 hours cleaning expecting her to come by any minute. She doesn't and when TheBee calls she acts suprised. Whatever! We went to first service on Sunday, than had to go home as TheBee caught the sinus bug and was feeling not to well. I am probably going home soon cause I feel like crap. Such is life I guess.

On the bitty home front, she actually slept most of the night. On the floor with all her blankets. TheBee was sleeping on the floor with her when she was having all the teething trouble, so know it's great fun to pull on the blankets onto the floor and sleep all curled up with them in front of dora. And don't dare turn dora off, even if it has no sound or all hell will break loose.

I'll write more later.

The Mama

Sick again

2007-02-02T07:25:00.000-08:00

Well the bits and I have a double ear infection, I think. You know moms, they are self diagnosers. I call the doc and he can't get us in til today. I am stuck feeling lousy. This is about the 5th time we have been sick. It passes through the house and than back again. The house is eating us alive with a huge electric bill over 400 dollars. I called the landlord and she is going to come by and check it out in the morning. So keep your fingers crossed we figure something out. It is way to much otherwise. TheBee is now on MRI's every 4 months. So I am way excited. Three years in since surgery! He wants to start school next spring. So keep your fingers crossed for that too!

I wish everyone well,

The Mama

Bitty and the Teeth

2007-01-29T13:04:00.000-08:00

Toddlers are so interesting. They get fascinated with one thing and stick with it and never relent. Our little bitty has decided that "teeth" is the number one priority. Or brushing teeth to you lamans. I have tried trickery (giving a play toothbrush with no paste and no water, just wetting the brush) to know avail. She will sit at home and every hour say "teeth"..."teeth".."TEETH". Please understand she was premature so her speach is just now starting. At 2 and half she speaks like a 18 mon old. We have her in the therapy but that is aside. Anyway, I speed most of my days in the bathroom at home between the potty and the teeth...and sometimes both. You know the books and docs say "choose your battles". TheBee thinks we should just let her scream about the brush, I think mainly because he is to lazy to get the darn thing. To me something as small as a tooth brush is not such a big deal. Just let her have it. Am I being to guliable? No obession over anything else just the teeth..WEIRD isn't it?

TheMama

The world we live in

2007-01-29T07:36:00.000-08:00

I know I may get some heat for this post. But this my blog and I will support what I wish without being censored by others. That is my right as a citizen of the United States of America. As you read this please think back to the days after 9/11 and what we as a country called on our president to do...what did we demand those days? Why have we change our mind?

For the Soldiers

I would beg your indulgence on behalf of the soldiers
fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan.

A study of people during World War 2, who had
undergone 60 days of continuous combat, showed that
98% of people became mentally unstable and suffered
from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). From these
results, researchers were most intrigued by the
remaining 2%. For a number of reasons these people
didn't suffer the same stress that the majority did.
They were classified into 2 groups. They determined 1%
of people were sociopath to begin with, and were
essentially insane when they got there. The other 1%
had something different.

To put it into perspective, 98% of people are defined
as sheep. These are the normal everyday people of the
world. Productive and peaceful. Then there is the 1%
of sociopath people who equivocate to wolves (think
wile e. coyote here) and prey upon the sheep. These
are the bad people of society. Then the last 1% are
sheepdogs. Those with teeth enough to stand up to the
wolves and protect the sheep.

The sheepdog is often misunderstood by the sheep
because by nature the sheepdog is a predator as well,
and in the absence of wolves this makes the sheep
nervous. They shun the sheepdog. But they always go
back to it when the wolves strike.

The soldiers employed in our countries, not just
Canada, but all allied nations, are representative of
the sheepdog. although we, like the wolves, are
trained and proficient to kill, we are bred to be
loyal to the sheep, and trained with the safeguard of
discipline built into us, so that when the time comes,
we will be precise in our application of those skills,
so as not to harm the sheep, and be a deadly deterrent
to any wolf stalking the flock.

The sheepdog would place itself into harms way
willfully and without second thought to protect those
sheep, and to that dog, failure is not the loss of its
own life, but the loss of one of its flock.

We as soldiers were asked this simple question in a
briefing before being deployed to Afghanistan;

"Are you prepared for the worst?"

Of course as the sheepdogs we were, we all nodded our
heads at the thought of dying in combat against our
enemy, but we were posed this scenario.

"What if they came and killed your children? Wouldn’t
that be the worst thing to happen to you? Are you
prepared for that?"

There was not one among us that could say we would
accept such a scenario to occur. The common target of
terrorism, with every country they have struck, they
have struck at schools. In 1974, a school in Israel
was attacked and held hostage by a group of
terrorists. The aftermath left 26 dead. 21 of which
were students of the school. Since then, the whole
Israeli school system changed. Schools were shut down
and rebuilt like fortresses. Teachers came to school
armed. Busses had armored plates added to them. It is
regulation there to have 1 armed soldier per 10
students on field trips, so frightening the attack
was. Since that time, no attack has succeeded, but at
what price? The country lives in fear of its children,
and the government spends millions a year sustaining
the guards and up keeping schools. The terrorism
succeeded.

Another more recent attack was on a school in Russia.
In Russia it is traditional to have a grand first day
of school. Parents show up with their children and
gather outside to welcome the next year. Beslan was a
small town where nothing exciting happens. During this
first day of school, the school was suddenly and
violently attacked by a large group of armed
terrorists. They took close to 1300 hostages and held
them in the school gymnasium. The older boys and
fathers were taken away as work details to fortify the
school. When they became exhausted they were shot and
the bodies tossed out of a 2nd story window. In the
gymnasium, mothers and little girls were raped
continuously for 3 days. The group was given no food,
no water, everyone defecated where they sat.
Eventually the screaming babies had gotten so bad, the
terrorists gave their mothers the choice to leave with
the baby or give it to the terrorists to take care of.
Many young children watched as their mothers left them
in captivity.

On the third day one of the explosive devices the
terrorists had set up detonated accidentally. The
Russian spetsnaz (Special Forces) attempted an ad hoc
offensive, losing 21 of their own. The terrorist
casualties counted at 49. 344 civilians dead, 186 of
them children. Countless others are scarred for the
rest of their lives, emotionally and physically.

The most horrifying discovery was made sometime later
after the terrorist ties were investigated. It turned
out that Al Qaeda had primarily financed and planned
the operation. According to Osama Bin Laden himself,
that incident was a trial run for what he promises
will happen to every crusader country.

Now, Bin Laden tries his best never to lie. So why
aren't we pulling our children out of school? Building
fortresses like Israel? Posting armed soldiers at
every street corner? Because of the two wars occurring
in Iraq and Afghanistan. They realize that to attack
now, would invite the wrath of the largest nations
armies into full play against them.

Coming back to World War 2, the allied nations sent
millions of soldiers to attack the axis powers, and
even though the casualties counted in the millions, we
pressed forward with the support of our nations people
and we finished the enemy. We put their backs to the
wall until they said "no more!" and surrendered. And
in the case of Japan, a constant guerrilla war was put
to an end by using nuclear weapons on its nation’s
city centers. So far were we willing to go to protect
our homeland.

Since then, Korea, Vietnam, the Gulf war. The world
has watched as our nations fight, lose several hundred
of our own and the people of our country rose up and
demanded we pull our troops out of those wars and come
home. We did it time and again. Even the cold war we
backed down thousands of troops, dismantled thousands
of weapons. The largest, most powerful nations in the
world, backed down.

And again, they see the wars occurring in their
countries, and they look to our homes and see the
support for the troops wavering, As a handful of our
own come home killed in action. they can sense that we
will give up the fight soon, pack up and go home,
because our countries cannot bear to lose a few brave
and dedicated men and women for a war they believe
does not involve them. For once we leave these wars we
prove once again we have the weaker resolve to fight
them, and this is when they will strike us at our
homes.

Military intelligences have seen this is the common
reason why there hasn't been another 9/11 incident.
they need to win the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and
it is easiest to win at this stage in the game where
our forces are relatively minimal. They will bide
their time and wait for us to cut and run again.

The news stations report our casualties as front line
news. to date, there have been 42 Canadian soldiers
killed in Afghanistan. there is rarely a mention of a
successful operation, killing 163 Taliban fighters. no
details on the 42 Taliban prisoners, their leadership
shattered by yet another successful raid into enemy
territory. these are examples of the numbers coming
out of single missions we partake in.

The conventional forces we deploy in theater are the
most humane weapon we are using to fight the enemy.
the common soldier can target specific threats on
ground. distinguish between friend, foe and civilian.
The soldier on the ground can make a positive
difference to a citizens life in that foreign country.
However, we are but plan A.

The allied nations also have at their disposal,
weapons of mass destruction. from conventional
thousand pound bombs, to a whole intercontinental
nuclear arsenal. weapons without mercy to the citizens
of foreign nations, but completely effective at
eliminating the imbedded threat. to defend your
children, and the children of a nation, what would you
resort to? The internment of every middle eastern
ethic group within the allied nations, and the
indifferent bombings of terrorist states? would their
deaths even be upon the conscience of our leaders?
would it not be the acts of the terrorist
organizations, which warranted such a response?

This is not the most likely scenario to occur from
this. however, it is something to think about. how far
would we go to protect our children? Of course, we as
the allied nations like to play the good guys on the
world stage. we would much rather stay with plan A.
use a scalpel to remove the disease, rather than a
hack saw, but plan A will only carry on so long as
there is support to keep our troops fighting.

Our troops will fight. We will fight because we can
understand better than the sheep, the dangers the wolf
presents. We as the troops entered into our line of
work knowing we could die. we entered our work knowing
we were willing to put the lives of the people we
protect above our own. We are willing to make that
sacrifice so other may not have to lose their lives,
and although the sheep may not understand the
sheepdog's reasoning for doing this, the sheepdog will
continue to protect the flock. We are willing to do
our jobs and serve our country. It's time the country
stepped aside, and let us do our job.

-Private Jeremy Hill 2nd Royal Canadian Regiment

Forwarding Instructions:

If you truly believe in the message here, I would ask
you individually send this letter to those who would
listen. for it is far too often we ignore the FW:
attached to anything. please change the subject to
catch the recipients attention and make sure this
message gets out and support for the troops remains
firm in our countries.

Authors Notes:

the inspiration for this came from a seminar given to
the Canadian troops of Task Force 1-07 by Lt. Col.
Dave Grossman of the United States Army. His speech
was by far the most inspiring words and reasoning
behind what we are doing in Iraq and Afghanistan.
included in this email are the wikipedia links to the
two school massacres where you can find additional
links to more information, as well as the site
killology.com where you can find Grossman's books "On
Combat" and "On Killing", both are exceptional reads
for those wishing to understand the soldier and what
he does.

I'd also like to personally thank the soldiers and
supporters of all of the nations involved in this
fight against terrorism. Given enough time, we will
win this war. let us hope our sacrifice is never made
in vain.

http://en.wikipedia .org/wiki/ Ma'alot_massacre

http://en.wikipedia .org/wiki/ Beslan_school_ hostage_crisis

http://www.killolog y.com/

Sincerely,

The Mama

The Bitty adventures and much much more....

2007-01-29T06:46:00.000-08:00

Bitty is still not going potty at school, we have tired the firly panties. She basically ran around the house all cute and dancing and than 30 minutes later peed on the floor. BLAH! TheBee's MRI came back absolutely clean!!! I am still trying to get my avon sorted out (YES I SELL AVON, anyone interested or need anything let me know). We are still trying to conceive with no luck, we have a script for fertility drugs but we have decided to wait til April to take them. We should both have a raise than, and so the financial issue should be solved. V is doing great and growing fast, she seems to learn more than I can ever think that I did at her age. I made valetine's baskets for the guys at my work thinking they would eat them up. No suh luck my guys are losers. The has is costing us a fortune cause the windows are way to old and are sucking cold air into the house. In some places it seriously feels like I'm standing outside. It totally bites. So now that I have all the bitching out of my system let's tell you the good stuff.

Bitty is so cute she lights my day. This weekend TheBee went out with her in her little Dora car and they had so much fun! She has a sinus infection so that's keeping her up, but she doesn't care she just keeps on smiling. It is so hard to be upset with her when she smiles. It is like the whole world smiles.

V is so inquistive when we talk on the phone (which is rare) she ask all these questions about the world around her. She is so smart and so good nature. I am so blessed.

TheBee caught a fever from the sunday school nursery but he seemed to be doing fine this morning. I am glad. We go to the dentist on Friday and get all that checked out. Keep your fingers crossed it doesn't cost a fortune.

On another note, does anyone know how to put a link to a post under your profile. I want one that says "The players" or something like that. This way whenever anyone new comes on they can read about us.

Thanks

The Mama

Potty Training round 2

2007-01-25T11:29:00.000-08:00

So we are potty training again. We had her going real good at the house, but than when she started school she completely stop. Now we got her going ti-ti again, and we are hoping she starts doing so at school. Yesterday they took her in every so often and she would just flush the toilet over and over. SIGH. How come she does it at home, even tells me when she has to, but at school it's a game? Someone have advice? i really want to get her trained before we get pregnant, or at least before the new baby comes. Because otherwise I will have two in diapers and that is SOOOOOOO bad.

Thanks

The Mama

All the states I have visited

2007-01-22T13:51:00.000-08:00

create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide

This was really neat!

Some Background on The Bee

2007-01-18T08:10:00.000-08:00

The Bee is my husband, He is 32. We were married for a good two years desperately trying to have our precious, and fighting most of the time for a myrid of reasons. Finally I got a OB who made it happen, and had lots of complications. She was born early in Oct of 04, she drained us emotionally and mentally. We had just started going back to a church a week before Christmas, and all was starting to look up. I had a job after a desperate search, and both girls were healthy and happy. Than the bomb dropped, and floor flew out from under us. It started like it normally does, headaches...on top of headaches. It was Sunday Morning, I had the girls dressed and The Bee said he was going to lay down because of this "terrible headache". A few minutes later he was literally crawling to the bathroom puking. TheBee had never been sick and even proclaimed he would never be in a grave situation. So this was totally out of the norm him. I packed him in the car and off the our favorite hospital we went. We had a intern, and if you anything about interns they love to run test. I mentioned that TheBee was having problems with speech and so he no shilantly suggested a CT Scan for what he thought was pallups in his sinus canvities. I had a infant in my arms cooing when the doctor walked in and closed the door. He said something, his lips were moving but it was like a train wreck hit me. There was all this noise in my head, and I shock it. I looked at Bee and he had the same look. I said, "what" and he repeated. I swear it was like out of a movie "Youuuuuuuuu Haveeeeeeee a TTuummmorr" I kept looking for the cameras. Bee rolled over and started crying, I didn't (which is all out weird for me). They left and I got on the phone in the hallway. I called everyone...church, friends, etc. We had such a full ER room there was not a empty space anywhere. Of course, our insurance decided to go to hell and refused to pay. But since it was a emergency he got surgery two days before our daughter's first christmas. He woke up with seizures, double vision, and short term memory loss. The vision is now clear, but he has truly changed and it still is problems in our relationship. The struggles between how much to help him and how much to let him "be the man" is very hard for me. The fight with specialist who didn't even know what was going on because their nurse answered all their calls, to the final stages of remission have been so trying on all of us. It has left our youngest unable to eject herself from my side, and our oldest talking about death. It is truly hard to comprehend what will happen tommorrow. And each MRI is like that tomb ticking again....he seems to deal with the whole thing a lot better than me. He always has, he laughed and joked durning and after surgery. When his mom told me to tell him in ICU that it was benign, I never did because we swore the truth. She has always held a spot in her that has never gotten over that, but she understands why I think. It is very hard to have the support when it has never been there. You will here me talk about Papa, that's The Bee's dad, who upon having to yet again bring Bee to the hospital for bleeding in his brain demanded I come pick up the youngest because "she was crying to much". I swear that mean has such karma coming. It has been a roller coaster. And again we wait.....

The Mama